Toledo’s Pride Series
Toledo’s Pride is a photo series chronicling a slice of the LGBTQIA+ community in my hometown of Toledo, Ohio. The series consists of portraits of folks identifying within the LGBTQIA+ spectrum paired with short, sometimes very intimate stories from those people. The title, “Toledo’s Pride”, references the pride people within this community have for themselves, but also sheds light on the pride and beliefs that cause many in the larger community to reject—and even fear—the people with this group.
The goal is to create awareness using the power of storytelling, both visual and written.
Scroll below for individual stories.
SHAE
The trauma of not feeling accepted or validated resulted in an unhealthy relationship with sex.” Shae told me, “Something a lot of the LGBTQ+ community knows all too well. Growing up queer in a heteronormative world there was little sex education as it related to queer people. For me, it was completely trial and error.”
Exploring their sexuality and queerness with limited knowledge and resources combined with a need for self-validation is how Shae (They/Them pronouns) found themself with an HIV diagnosis at the age of 19.
They explained, “Initially, after the devastation of my HIV diagnosis I was going to kill myself.”
Yet, through self-reflection and seeking further education and knowledge, Shae learned to accept this new reality. Shae found strength to live visibly as a queer, non-binary individual living with HIV and working in HIV prevention educating their community with the knowledge that they did not have those 4 years ago.
“I felt my trauma would be worth it if I was able to help just one person along the way,” Shae said, “not to just live as a zoo animal where my vulnerability is just on display for the public. My goal is to educate my community. Living visibly gives me validation and acceptance. I was exhausted looking for a space to be comfortable in, so I created that space for myself. I hope that everyone has the chance to feel this way. The only way I knew how to cope with it was through wanting to help others. Little did I know, helping my community led to my healing. With my HIV diagnosis, my sole existence seemed to be surrounded by death, and I chose to have it be surrounded by life.”
Shae is now 23 year and is still living in Toledo, Ohio
ANTHONY & AARON
Anthony (left) and Aaron (right) have been dating for 2 years. As Toledo, Ohio natives, they admit growing up gay in this town was difficult and still can be, but acknowledge how much the town has changed. “Toledo has grown so much over the years and I’ve been here my whole life. People are becoming more open minded. Toledo is amazing.” Anthony told me.
By day, Anthony works as a home health aid and Aaron manages a shoe store. By night, Anthony, whose stage name is Solo Jackson, is a male entertainer/performer snagging pageant titles like Mr. Toledo Gay Pride and Toledo Stripper of the Year, while Aaron is a drag queen and female illusionist who goes by the name, Gizelle.
SUGAR
I met Sugar a few year backs. Her drag first touched the stage 15 years ago at Caesar’s Showbar in Toledo. She’s boisterous, theatrical, over-the-top, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. This past winter, I spent a few Sunday afternoons at Georgjz419, hanging out with her and another queen. Nothing fed my soul better than hanging out with these two.
“The best thing about Toledo is the people. I've made lifelong friendships in this town that I wouldn't trade for anything.”
By day, Sugar goes by David and teaches students with autism.
Jessie & Joe
Jessie and Joe have lived in Toledo on and off for the last 14 years.
“Nothing honestly ever made me think of Toledo as a place to live. We just kind of fell into it, I had an opportunity to come here for work and took it. Joe had a full scholarship to UT for Law School. But the longer we were here and realized how accepting this area was compared to SW Michigan,” Jessie told me.
They were married 5 years ago after their first daughter, Genevieve was placed with them.
“Since marriage equality was passed earlier that year, Ohio was no longer able to restrict us from both adopting and being both listed as her parents on birth certificate,” said Jessie.
“Well, the adoption process as gay men was fairly easy [for us]. We found an agency that was very open in regards to the gay community,” Jessie explained, “But I know this is not other’s experience, depending on state and agency this has been a difficult road for many in the community. We were blessed. Of course we still get looks of confusion, inappropriate questions about their background, people asking about their moms, or their ‘real’ family. But mostly people have been very accepting and get it”.
When I photographed Jessie and Joe they had recently welcomed their second daughter, Kamiyah, into their family
ERICKA
Ericka relocated from Florida to Toledo in 2015. She has been performing as a drag entertainer since the age of 16. She got her start in Orlando, Florida after seeing performances by Danielle Hunter and Sierrah Foxx, two former national title holders.
“Though I didn’t grow up here, Toledo is my home. Georgjz419 welcomed me and I feel honored to represent a great safe space as Miss Georgjz 2019.”
GEORGE
The idea for the Toledo’s Pride Series came to me while I was in town and sitting at a bar called Georgjz419. Since it opened a few years back, any time I was visiting Toledo I made sure to stop by for a drink.
I was looking around taking in the atmosphere and reflecting how much Toledo changed in terms of LGBTQ progress and acceptance from the time I moved away 15 years ago to now. It was at the moment I focused on the big picture window at the front of the bar. From where I was perched it was a view outside, but I quickly realized from the street, it was a view inside.
That really stuck with me. Gay/queer bars have, first and foremost, been safe spaces for our community, so the absence of windows in these spaces, especially in small communities is absolutely necessary. Toledo still has bars like that, but Georgjz419 was different. The window represented a connection to the rest of the community and it was also a metaphor for progressive change.
George is the owner of Georgjz419 and when I told him about what I wanted to do he was immediately on board. It would be a total miss not to have George be a part of this series. I thank him from the bottom of my heart for his support and for what he’s done creating a space for the LGBTQ community of Toledo.“I wanted a place where everyone was welcome,” he told me when I asked him for a statement.
George’s vision was just that. Everyone loves Georgjz419 because everyone’s welcome
DANIELLE
I met Danielle at a time of turmoil in her life, something I didn't know about but that she later shared -- she was a bisexual woman who is now identifying as gay.
She agreed to be photographed for this series and said we could meet at her apartment. We found a spot in her bedroom and as I began shooting, she opened up about her experience coming out as bisexual in high school.
As is often the case, many including her family were not receptive, which devastated her.
"People in my private and professional life thought my orientation was unseemly, or even downright disgusting," she would later tell me.
As I reviewed some of the shots I had taken, she became quiet as tears welled up in her eyes. Our meeting had brought up all those old feelings. We took a break, took some breaths, talked it out and finished the photo session.
A few weeks ago, I reached out telling her about my plans to showcase the images. "Actually, that photo session really had an impact on me," she told me.
"Being 29 and finally coming out publicly feels weird, to be honest. I hadn't even been out as bisexual to most people, and to them it's probably shocking to hear I'm identifying as gay. There are so many worries I have in this moment about saying the wrong thing and about hurting people who had perceived me one way. But what I've realized is that in hiding such a big part of myself these past years, I've also been hiding a huge capacity of happiness and a wellspring of love."
Danielle added that she recently came out to some of her family again, and that the experience was completely different -- she was given the love and support that she had been wishing for all these years.
Danielle went to high school in Bedford, Mich., then got her degree in Toledo. She left for a few years but moved back to the area less than a year ago, and she said while there's still a ways to go, she's seen a lot of progress.
"Toledo has been a healing place to live. I have friends here who helped me come to this moment, and I love being in a place where LGBTQ folks are such an important part of the community. I feel like I'm learning to breathe."
JYM
I met Jym at his house, which was also the home built by the parents of his late husband, Don.
“Growing up Gay in Toledo, Ohio during the 1970s and 80s was not easy,” Jym told me.
He tried staying closeted and dating woman, but repressing his true feelings was killing him inside; a story a lot of gay folks know all too well.
“Then I met Don. He spent his life being who he was with no apologies. Together we were whole, and I became strong,” Jym explained.
They had been together for 20 years, when the Supreme Court announced their historic ruling that gay marriage legal in all states. So, they went down to the court house and became the first gay couple married in Lucas County.
They were married 3 years until Don passed away. “Cancer took [Don] from me, but the strength he taught me lives on,” Jym said.
We spent the rest of our time together growing through old albums and photos and reminiscing about Don and the beautiful life they shared together.
Jym has since moved into a new home with his dog. He is also the artist behind the local LGBT comic strip Diamonds in the Rough.
RAVEN
I’ve only known Raven for a short amount of time. In fact, we first met when I photographed her for this series. I brought her a cupcake because I was running late. Raven was quiet at first, but her kind heart was apparent the moment I met her.
June 1st marked 5 years since Raven (also known as “The Fabulous Raven”) came out as a transgender woman to her parents in 2015. Raven shared with me the touching letter she read to her parents that day. I was honored to have read it while I stood next to her.
Coming out as a transgender woman was incredibly hard for Raven. Her late father was was born in Mississippi in the 1930s was not supportive of her transition. Yet, through it all, she doesn’t let anything bring her down. Her vulnerability and relentless optimism are her strengths.
A year after coming out, Raven attended her first Toledo Pride parade. She’s been going ever since. “Being a Toledo Native, I'm so proud of being true to myself and a proud member of the transgender community in a city that's more accepting everyday,” Raven told me.
Raven is a part time employee at the Collingwood Art Center. In her free time, she enjoys modeling.
TANAsIO
“I hid my queerness from myself for most of my life. I had heard what my granny said about ‘them faggots’ and how we ‘couldn’t separate the sexes correctly’ and that we were all going to Hell. I wish I could say she meant well. By the time I turned sixteen, I couldn’t escape it any longer. For the next 4 years I tried to drown it out with Christianity. I thought that I was wrong, and that if I prayed enough, God would ‘change me.’ That’s what I’d heard all my life anyway. When age 20 came around, I realized all that was bullshit. I stopped living lies, bought my first blouse from the women’s section of Target, stole a pair of my mom’s giant hoop earrings that she didn’t wear anymore, and began to grow into who I was meant to be.”
—
“Being a queer black man living in Christian-centric American society, as much of a gift as it is, can also be a bit of a curse. I see so many of my peers and elders who have not yet learned how to not live the lie, or think they are wrong for existing. Every day of my life, I want to be a walking, talking, tangible example that defies what so many of us have been taught. It’s killing us.
In a world that never wanted you to be black or queer, being unapologetically both is a radical act. The compliment that I receive the most regarding my personality and the varying types of clothes I wear is some version of ‘I just admire how you are always 100% yourself,’ to which I reply, ‘I don’t have a choice.’
It is my goal that one day everyone feels free enough and enough enough to be themselves. Happy Pride Month. And while we’re here, All Black Lives Matter.”
Hannah & Kristin
“We are both from Toledo. We both came out around sophomore year of college, but that was 4 years apart. Now we both work in the medical field; I'm an RN in an Emergency Department and Kris is a Physician's Assistant in Neurology. I feel like there isn't much to say regarding being queer in Toledo, because Toledo makes it so easy compared to other cities I've lived in. While that obviously isn't everyone's experience, and we recognize our privilege, we're still grateful. We love being here, and love the opportunities this city affords."
Hannah and Kristen are engaged. They also were first people who agreed to be a part of this series.
BARB & BARB
Barb R (right) and Barb S (left), both 71, were born and raised in the Toledo area and met online 11 years ago.
For their first date they decided to meet by the Maumee River, and completely by chance it’s the same spot I suggested that we take their photos.
“I was wearing a big red nose,” Barb R reminisced, “I still won her heart.”
There were married 6 years later in 2015, the same year the US Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage in all states.
They honeymooned in Provincetown.
“The only thing we wish is that we met sooner.”
Bridge
Bridge is a queer, non-binary trans person, and returning to Toledo post-college was an intimidating thought.
“I had cut ties with my unwelcoming church right before I left. I also was unsure what living with my family after beginning my gender transition would be like,” they explained. They weren’t sure if they would find the same sense of belonging that their college, queer community had provided.
Bridge “learned […] to come home to the right people.” They now live with their partner in an apartment complex with some of their best friends.
Bridge has carved out their own space in the Toledo—their own “mini queer oasis”. Their favorite spots include Georgjz419 and the newly opened Toledo Equality community space—a safe space they helped start. Sometimes they also love just staying in at their apartment.
“I am forever grateful and thankful to the Toledo community members and programs that have not stopped working to create inclusion since I left, and have helped me find my new, queer family. I’m determined not to leave here again until I know queer and trans people—young and old—have the vital resources they need to flourish”.
DESMOND
So much has changed in the 8 years that Desmond has lived in Toledo, Ohio.
In that time, both Desmond and Toledo have grown in their acceptance of LGBTIA+ people and issues.
“I grew up in a loving but conservative, evangelical Christian home in Des Moines, Iowa. My father was the pastor of our church. I knew from an early age that I was not straight, and I learned just as quickly to conceal that part of me. When I was 16, the family moved to Lima, Ohio to attend a larger church with a significant anti-LBGT bias.“
These were tough and isolating 6 years for Desmond.
It was a job opportunity in Toledo was his saving grace. He left Lima, left the church, left everyone he knew, and moved to Toledo.
“Wonderful people in Toledo welcomed me into their families and helped me breathe freely for the first time in my life. One of those first breaths came when I attended my first Toledo Pride. I was stunned to find so many people lining Jefferson Street in downtown waiting for the parade. I had never been around so many LGBT+ people before, and I was grinning like a fool. But when the parade passed by, I wept, because for the first time, I felt truly free.”
AMBER
Drag Queen Amber Stone just began performing in the early 2000s, but Jaymes Gregory Mull has been performing since he was born.
Actively involved in the local theater scene, this NYC-trained thespian decided to give drag a try. The name Amber is in reference to his favorite euro-dance singer with the same namesake. Stone was derived from jewelry his mother gave him to wear—amber colored stones.
Now, this queen has done it all—former “Ohio Entertainer of the year”, a brief off-Broadway run, and a handful of other achievements.
“The drag persona is definitely less afraid of what people think or how they will react. I feel like it's my glamorous armor. What Jaymes is not as confident to say or do, Amber is!”
Jaymes told me Amber has taught him, “to be unapologetically myself, because the people that love that person are the ones that deserve me”.
Amber currently performs on cast at Georgjz419 and is the Artistic Director for their theatrical company Stone Productions at the Collingwood Arts Center.
Allison & Brittanie
Meet Allison and Brittanie. Both proud Toledo natives and accidental activists.
In 2013, the two were thrown into the spotlight as Brittanie was outed on the front page of @thebladenews after being asked not to speak at an event because she was engaged to Allison. The event sparked a movement within their families, friends, and the community. It started a much-needed conversation about the intersection of faith and sexuality. It was a reminder that love is love. Their love has changed minds and hearts of those close to them.
Brittanie and Allison are now married and have since welcome two small children into their family.
“This isn’t the world I imagined for our children in 2020,” Brittanie told me, “but this is where we are.”
For them, changing the world begins at home.
“Our children will know their privilege and understand the importance of using it to spark change,” Brittanie explained.
Love, respect, advocacy, and justice are woven into the fabric of their family.
Brittanie and Allison’s sincere hope is that their children learn to use their voices to amplify conversations about justice and equality for all, especially those that are silenced.
Rachel & Luisa
Rachel and Luisa are a happy, loving, and supportive couple who inspire each other to be their very best selves. They met in Toledo, OH through their shared professional network. Luisa is a physician and Rachel is an assistant professor of Women’s and Gender Studies.
They shared their first date at none other than @georgjz419.
It was after meeting, getting to know one another and falling in love that Luisa and Rachel came to understand the city’s slogan: “You will do better in Toledo.”
They are a proud interracial couple who love to celebrate, honor, and share their Filipino and African American heritage.
“We are thankful for the fearless LGBTQ activists, allies and advocates who, over the years, have pushed to make Toledo what it is now and what it is becoming in terms of greater LGBTQ visibility and inclusivity.”
Landon
Landon knew that living openly as a gay man would be tough in his small, rural hometown town of West Liberty, Ohio.
“I [felt] I would never be accepted. It’s a typical conservative small town where everyone knows everyone and what everyone is doing,” he explained, “So I knew the impact it would have on my family with the whispers and comments from the people in the town”.
While he had the support from some of his family, in 2010 he made the decision to leave his hometown slowly making his way north: first Findlay, then Bowling Green and finally settling in Toledo.
He moved to Toledo, Ohio and bought his first house on June 25, 2015. The following day the US Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage in all 50 states.
“My world had finally opened up and the idea of Toledo being where my story began started to take root. I’ve never been apart of a community that is so inclusive when it comes to the LGBT+ community. ‘You will do better in Toledo’ is definitely true for me”.
Since then Landon continues to feel more and more comfortable in his own skin. (Pun intended)
Michelle
When I put out feelers for folks to photograph for this series, Michelle kindly reached out explaining that she identified as bisexual and would love to me a part of this. We agreed to meet at a local queer-friendly coffee shop called Black Kite Coffee.
We chatted about photography, among other things, as we sipped on our chai lattes reminiscing about Toledo.
Since then I’ve had more conversations regarding her sexual identity and what that means for her.
“Throughout my life I’ve struggled to not only define, but embrace my identity and sexuality,” Michelle explained, “I never had any sort of official coming out. I wanted to navigate what it means to be queer on my own terms.”
This personal journey was met with both, acceptance and rejection, from her peers. People were trying to put her in a box, but as she learns more about herself and more about the fluidity of sexuality she sees that even she had placed herself in a box, too.
It’s been almost 5 months since I first met Michelle. She no longer identifies as bisexual, but rather prefer queer or pansexual. “I am open to loving anyone regardless of their gender identity,” she told me.
Her journey is a reminder of the vast spectrum that is sexuality.
Michelle never officially “came out”, perhaps because she felt pressure to give herself an immediate label, but she feels honored and proud to use this moment to official do so.
I thank her for her vulnerability and willingness to share with me and with you all.
Jack
“Growing up as a visibly queer young person in NW Ohio changed the course of my life. It also turned me on to radical politics. Thanks to the adult organizers and volunteers involved with Toledo Rainbow Area Youth (RAY), I was able to connect with the rich history of queer and trans organizing at a young age.
When I transitioned at 16, I was terrified of losing friends and family. I have been so privileged in the social aspect of my transition.
I have found home, family, and community with other queer and trans people living in Toledo.
Toledo has a long way to go in terms of being a truly inclusive and liberated space for our LGBT community, but everyday our siblings are fighting discrimination based on sexuality and gender.
Thank you to all the radical queers in Toledo do the work of abolition, racial justice, immigration justice, and fighting against the institutions that keep us all oppressed. Queer and trans people have been on the front lines of every social justice movement reaching back throughout history. We must continue our legacies of being leaders and bashing back”
Jack Alferio is now 24 and lives in the Old West End
Erika & Mariah
“It was hard [for me] to be out and proud in Toledo,” Erika told me, “but my friends have been there every step of the way.”
Erika (wearing blue) and her friend Mariah met me at the Toledo Public Library one afternoon. The two became friends a couple years ago while working together.
Born and raised in Toledo, Erika says it’s the support from her friends who have helped grow her into the person that she is today.
Mariah stood off to the side cheering Erika on while I photographed her. As we all chatted, I learn more about their friendship.
“I grew up in a household that accepted all genders, races, religions as equally deserving of love,” explained Mariah, a proud ally of the LGBTQIA+ community, “I can say without questions that my non-cis, nonbinary friends have the most strength and bravery out of anyone that I know.”
I asked Mariah to hop into the frame for a a few shots. That’s what friends are for, right?
Leigh
Growing up identifying as bisexual, it was at the age of 19 when Leigh met her now ex-husband, a trans man, that she needed to reevaluate her identify.
“I didn’t care about gender identification, I didn’t care what ‘parts’ you had or didn’t have. I just wanted to love and be loved.” She explained. Leigh now identifies as pansexual.
“When I told my mom I was getting married to a female (how he identified at the time) she freaked out, my whole family essentially disowned me telling me I was making a mistake. I didn’t really talk to them for 5 years.”
Leigh and her husband’s relationship became abusive and the couple would eventually split up.
“I met my current husband, a cis male, and some people tell me, ‘Well I guess you’re straight then. We are glad your phase is over’. They just don’t understand that just because I married a man, doesn’t make me heterosexual. I still have attraction to any and every gender [identity],” She told me.
Leigh has lived in the Toledo area since 2015 and is a mental health therapist for adolescents and children.
Gina
Gene was born in Morgantown, WV.
“I questioned, denied, hid,” Gene told me, but finally accepted my sexuality at the age of 24.
He moved to Toledo back in 1994 for a job opportunity. “That is where I met David,” Gene explained, “We have been together for 25 years and legally married for 6.”
Gene began to practice and perform the art of female impersonation as a way to express his feminine side that he hid for most of his life. Together, he and David created the persona of Miss Gina Arnez. David is always behind the scenes; styling Gina’s wigs, packing and unpacking her wardrobe and helping her as well as other performers to get ready to hit the stage.
“David believes in me, more than I believe in myself. We are a team and we compliment one another, that’s why our relationship works.”
Gene and David invited me to their home the day after Christmas and was able to document the process of transforming into Miss Gina Arnez and performed at @georgjz419 later than night.
Check out the BCAN coverage of the Toledo’s Pride Series which showcased in Promedica Park in Downtown Toledo.
